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Patrick Carnes BOOKS

Out of the Shadows

With the revised information and up-to-date research, Out of the Shadows is the premier work on sex addiction, written by a pioneer in its treatment.

Sex is at the core of our identities. And when it becomes a compulsion, it can unravel our lives. Out of the Shadows is the premier work on this disorder, written by a pioneer in its treatment. Revised and updated to include the latest research  and to address the exploding phenomenon of cybersex addiction - this third edition identifies the danger signs, explains the dynamics, and describes the consequences of sexual addiction and dependency. With practical wisdom and spiritual clarity, it points the way out of the shadows of sexual compulsion and back into the light and fullness of life.

The Betrayal Bond; Breaking Free of Exploitative Relationships

Exploitive relationships can create trauma bonds--chains that link a victim to someone who is dangerous to them. Divorce, employee relations, litigation of any type, incest and child abuse, family and marital systems, domestic violence, hostage negotiations, kidnapping, professional exploitation and religious abuse are all areas of trauma bonding. All these relationships share one thing: they are situations of incredible intensity or importance where there is an exploitation of trust or power.

In The Betrayal Bond, Patrick Carnes presents an in-depth study of these relationships, why they form, who is most susceptible, and how they become so powerful. He shows how to recognize when traumatic bonding has occurred and gives a checklist for examining relationships. He then provides steps to safely extricate from these relationships.

Sexual Anorexia

A first-time examination of sexual anorexia, an extreme fear of sexual intimacy and obsessive avoidance of sex, by the acknowledged leader in the treatment of compulsive sexual behavior and recovery.

Author Dr. Patrick Carnes begins by defining sexual anorexia and demonstrating how it and its parallel disorder, sexual addiction and compulsivity, often arise from a background of childhood sexual trauma, neglect, and other forms of abuse. Utilizing extensive research and elucidating case studies, Carnes develops concrete tasks and plans for restoring nurturing and sensuality, building fulfilling relationships, exploring intimacy, and creating healthy sexuality. Woven throughout the book are stories of recovery which illustrate sexual healing principles, model new behavior, and support motivation for change. Sexual Anorexia enables those suffering from this disorder to recognize that sex need not be a furtive enemy to be fought and defeated but, instead, a deeply sensual, passionate, fulfilling, and spiritual experience that all human beings are innately entitled to.

Don't Call it Love

Every day they face the possibility of destruction, risking their families, finances, jobs, dignity, and health. They come from all walks of life: ministers, physicians, therapists, politicians, executives, blue-collar workers. Many were abused as children - sexually, physically, or emotionally - and witnessed addictive behavior first hand in their early lives. Don't Call it Love includes groundbreaking work by the
nation's leading professional expert on sexual addiction, based on the candid testimony of more than one thousand recovering sexual addicts in the first major scientific study of the disorder.

This essential reading includes not only the revealing findings of Dr.Carnes' research with recovering addicts but also advice from the addicts and co-addicts themselves as they work to overcome their compulsive behavior.

A Gentle Path through the
Twelve Steps

The spirit of the 12 Steps is gentleness and that path is a gentle way. Like water wearing down hard rock, consistency and time become allies in creating new channels for one's life. A Gentle Path through the Twelve Steps is a classic guide for all people in the process of recovery. Each step is clearly explained and examined with carefully designed exercises guiding individuals in
working through all 12 steps and integrating them into their life. Throughout the book, the
importance of patience with the process through self care, gentleness, affirmations, and meditation are emphasized. Although titled A Gentle Path through the Twelve Steps, individuals who embark on this journey will find that harsh truths and pain are also part of the necessary path to experiencing the ultimate serenity offered by the Twelve Steps. This workbook is for
those willing to face these realities that come along with the journey in order to reclaim the integrity that is so often lost in the addictive process.

A Gentle Path through the Twelve Principles

Twelve Steps. Twelve Traditions. And yes, Twelve Principles. The Steps outline the actions that lead to extraordinary healing. The Traditions exist as guides to the functioning of the Fellowship. Embedded in both is a series of Principles by which to measure your progress.Anyone who lives a Twelve Step way of life will recognize the principles passed on in A Gentle Path through the Twelve Principles. They have existed among fellowships as a hidden curriculum of fundamental truths about recovery for decades, but never before have they been distilled into a succinct set of values that, when practiced, help each of us to develop an essential skill set for life. The principles--such universal touchstones for human self-realization as acceptance, awareness, responsibility, openness, honesty, courage, commitment, and meaning--are concepts that enable a deep inner study and focus to make a new life happen in recovery. Recovery means reengineering your life with a focus on renewal. The Twelve Principles are designed to help you get there.

Contrary to Love

Public humiliation, broken families, and ruined careers are just some of the tragic results when sexual behavior is out of control. And as the media reports each new case, many find themselves wondering why. A revolutionary breakthrough came with Dr. Carnes' publication of Out of the Shadows, now acknowledged as a definitive resource for understanding sexual addiction. Contrary to Love is the sequel where Dr. Carnes adds new insight and new findings, building on his original descriptive framework. The stages and progression of the illness are
identified, and family structure, bonding, and boundaries are examined in depth. Finally,
assessment, intervention, and treatment methods are outlined at length.


Contrary to Love remains a classic among Dr. Carnes' literature with the goal - and the hope - of ultimate recovery.

Recovery Zone: Volume 1

Recovery Zone, Volume One picks up where Facing the Shadow leaves off, guiding readers to begin working tasks eight through thirteen of Dr. Patrick Carnes' innovative thirty-task model. This book helps readers understand that true recovery is achieved by learning to cope with difficult situations and emotions.

Stopping addictive behavior is the only way to start recovery. However, stopping the behavior is not enough to stay in recovery. True recovery is achieved by learning to cope with difficult situations and emotions. Dr. Patrick Carnes helps readers know how to deal with difficult affective states and guides them to a place of resilience so they can decide what is important in their lives. Readers will learn how to live optimally in their Recovery Zone. The work sets the stage for recovery tasks 8-13, providing readers with a practical approach to recognize the underlying emotional causes that perpetuate the addiction cycle.

In the Shadows of the Net

The accessibility, affordability, and perceived anonymity of the Internet has impacted the world at large. It is no secret that the Internet provides a wide array of opportunities for the user, but sometimes these opportunities have damaging life consequences. For the struggling sex addict,
the Internet is often a death trap. In the Shadows of the Net explores the concept of Cybersex and specific characteristics of online problematic sexual behavior.


In addition to an outline of the criteria, the book also provides explanation for how this specific form of compulsive behavior develops and how it relates to an individual's arousal template. In the Shadows of the Net provides instructions for these individuals in taking the next steps to obtaining freedom from the black hole of internet addiction. No matter where one is on the journey, In the Shadows of the Net provides current research and stories of other Cybersex addicts for understanding and inspiration to create a new story and new way of life.

Facing the Shadow

For all addicts, a moment comes when they realize they have a problem. There is sudden clarity—the insight that life has become unmanageable. That moment, however, is fragile. It is easily lost to craving and denial. People struggling with sex addiction find the old refrains creeping back into their thinking: My situation is different. . . . This will all blow over. . . . People are over-reacting to my behavior. Or, This is hopeless. I'm just too perverted to change.

Facing the Shadow is used by thousands of therapists with their clients and is based on the thirty-task model of recovery from addiction that forms the basis of Carnes' work. This newly revised and expanded edition takes readers through the first seven of those tasks, including specific performables that are built in to the exercises. The model also supports Twelve Step recovery programs.

Facing Addiction

Facing Addiction is the first book to apply Dr. Patrick Carnes' research-based thirty task model to treating addiction to alcohol and drugs. This revolutionary model helps therapists and recovering people understand the interaction between trauma and brain science, and how these factors play a role in the development of addiction to drugs and alcohol.


The tasks provide a step by step guide to help those suffering from the disease of chemical dependency break through denial and begin the process of engaging in a lasting, long term recovery process. Basic, practical exercises are provided throughout the book with examples geared specifically
towards chemical dependency. Topics such as denial, the addictive system, damage done by the addiction, the first step, sobriety, developing a support system are explored.

Open Hearts

Many individuals and their partners have tried over and over to "fix" their relationship to no avail. Open Hearts is a creative resource for any struggling couples, despite the reason, offering a hopeful path to healthy and fulfilling intimacy. The book addresses areas in which couples often
struggle such as: communication, parenting, finances, and sex. Exercises are provided to help couples explore their own family of origin and its impact on their current relationship. In addition, the characteristics and dynamics of a troubled relationship are explored for couples to personally reflect on their own relationship. Concrete steps for moving towards a more healthy relationship make up the second portion of the workbook with exercises such as a couples first step, spiritual journey contract, and healthy fighting. This book is for any couple who is
struggling in their relationship and seeking a closer, authentic, and truly intimate relationship.

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