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Dr. Carnes talks about this book

Facing the Shadow: Starting Sexual and Relationship Recovery

For all addicts, a moment comes when they realize they have a problem. There is sudden clarity—the insight that life has become unmanageable. That moment, however, is fragile. It is easily lost to craving and denial. People struggling with sex addiction find the old refrains creeping back into their thinking: My situation is different. . . . This will all blow over. . . . People are over-reacting to my behavior. Or, This is hopeless. I'm just too perverted to change.

Facing the Shadow is used by thousands of therapists with their clients and is based on the thirty-task model of recovery from addiction that forms the basis of Carnes' work. This newly revised and expanded edition takes readers through the first seven of those tasks, including specific performables that are built in to the exercises. The model also supports Twelve Step recovery programs.

Excerpt from the book:

"Addiction is an illness of escape. Its goal is to obliterate, medicate, or ignore reality. It is an alternative to letting oneself feel hurt, betrayal, worry, and -most painful of all- loneliness. The hardest challenge for some addicts is acknowledging that they have a problem. Addiction cripples the core ability to know what is real - our most essential skill- because addicts weave a string of rationalizations and delusions that make it impossible to cope with details like jobs or families.

In this chapter, we will look at why denial holds such strong sway over addicts and what to do to counter it. We will define addiction and who is likely to become an addict. Addiction often begins simply: reality becomes too much to bear, so we try to escape through drugs, alcohol, or sex."

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Customer Reviews

Excellent resource

By Solid Reviews August 2, 2016

This is a great book to guide you in your fight. There's a lot of material to get through (exercises) and you'll want to go back and redo most of them as additional thoughts come to mind. I'd recommend taking your time as you go through this. It's not a quick one-and-done deal that you want to rip through; instead, I'd recommend a thoughtful approach that involves some deep soul-searching.

For those serious about recovery

By Houston L. October 24, 2017

Patrick Carnes literally brought sex addiction to the forefront and raised awareness of sex addiction as a recognized addiction and is masterful in his proven recovery works.

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