© 2018 Dr. Patrick Carnes

Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction

With the revised information and up-to-date research, Out of the Shadows is the premier work on sex addiction, written by a pioneer in its treatment.

Sex is at the core of our identities. And when it becomes a compulsion, it can unravel our lives. Out of the Shadows is the premier work on this disorder, written by a pioneer in its treatment. Revised and updated to include the latest research  and to address the exploding phenomenon of cybersex addiction - this third edition identifies the danger signs, explains the dynamics, and describes the consequences of sexual addiction and dependency. With practical wisdom and spiritual clarity, it points the way out of the shadows of sexual compulsion and back into the light and fullness of life.

Excerpt from the book:

"A moment comes for every addict when the consequences are so great or the pain is so bad that the addict admits life is out of control because of his or her sexual behavior. Some are news-making moments, such as the public censure when a congressman, minister, or professional figure is cited for unacceptable behavior. Millions read the steamy news accounts and, despite their own prurience, make severe judgments about people who are sexual with children, who visit prostitutes, who commit homosexual acts in public toilets, or even who have affairs. A smaller audience -but much larger than most imagine- read each line fearing that the same public exposure could happen to them and judging themselves with the same unforgiving standards the public uses.

Some dramatic moments:

  • when the squad car pulls into the driveway and you know why they've come [...]

  • when your spouse announces the end of your marriage because of the latest discovery [...]

Some are secret moments known only to yourself:

  • when you have to tell yet another lie that you almost believe yourself

  • when the money you have spent on the last prostitute equals the amount for the new shoes your child needs"

Customer Reviews

Dr. Carnes brought me out of the shadows.

By Delores J. J. January 9, 2017

An excellent book explaining sexual addiction of both the addict and the coaddict. The life of both contributes to their addictive world. It helps people understand the addictive system: faulty core beliefs, impaired thinking, compulsive behavior and the un-manageability that creates its own momentum isolating the addict further and the coaddict too. In reading this book, I understood my ex-husband and my role in this addictive cycle. If you are touched by sexual addiction, this is a must read book. Dr. Carnes brought me out of the shadows for sure.

THE TRUTH HELPS

By CHICAGO B. August 9, 2011

This book is well written, and spoke to me as if Dr. Carnes was writing directly to me. I found his analysis and insights to be very strong, and enormously helpful. In, fact, since I have read only about half the book, I can say in all honesty that it has already achieved its purpose in helping me, and by understanding my own behaviors and mental processess I have gained a new calm and a real release of pressure in my own life that represents a radical transformation in thought and attitude and action.
I would highly recommend this book for anyone who is struggling with or is concerned they are struggling with sexual addiction, for it can help you both determine where you are at and how to proceed from there.
Simply knowing was tremendously freeing to me.